Strength is being able to crush a tomato.
Dexterity is being able to dodge a tomato.
Constitution is being able to eat a bad tomato.
Intelligence is knowing a tomato is a fruit.
Wisdom is knowing not to put a tomato in a fruit salad.
Charisma is being able to sell a tomato based fruit salad.
I was watching Chopped last night, and the guy actually used tomato in a fruit salad. He won, too.
i swear if I hear bruno mars sing about how he should have brought his ex flowers, i’m gonna take her dancing on his grave
My hair is amazing and long and I’m so happy to have it that I actually bother to maintain it a little
Serious question though…WHO WANTS TO BE MY NEW FRIENDS?
1. I am always the funniest person in a room
2. I am witty and incisive
3. I always have food that I will give you!
1. I am volatile
2. I only know how to console using aforementioned food
3. Everything else
That awkward moment where you storm out of a room and hours later realize you left your Tupperware containers there but it’s not worth ever going back to get them because I’m proving a point, damn it, and also have enough Tupperware containers